I've mentioned before how much I have looked forward to a baby shower. Now that we are adopting, when do we have it? Before the baby is born, after the baby is born, after we are "matched", etc. Some adoptive parents have one after they become "paper pregnant", some never have one, some have one after they or matched, or after the baby is born. We haven't decided when we are going to have a baby shower yet. While we were getting some things ready in our baby's room, we also completed our baby registries.
We haven't picked out a theme, and we tried to stay gender neutral. I didn't think that registering for gender neutral stuff was fun because boy and girl specific items were cuter. I don't know how people don't find out the gender of the baby. I would want to know just for the purpose of registering for fun, gender specific stuff! I have a new respect for those that wait to find out the baby's gender.
I started the baby registry process online, and it didn't take long for me to be stumped by the process. question number four or five… When are you due? How do I answer that? I'm not pregnant, so I'm not due. We don't know when our baby will be born. I decided on 12/31/14 because I feel like it will happen for us in 2014, and it actually let me say that I was due in 10 months! Ha. I left the baby shower details blank. We registered for several things online, but I really wanted to go to a baby store and scan things with the gun! That just sounded like a ton of fun to me, and it was. After we got past the awkward moment at the registry desk when they ask when you are due while looking at your obviously not pregnant belly. They all seemed to handle it well when we told them we were adopting.
Babies R Us was the only place that had an option to select that you are adopting. There is even an adoption registry checklist! Target was the only one that had adoption related children's book available (online only) to register for. Buy Buy Baby and Walmart didn't have anything related to adoption on their choices. We got the sample bag from every place but Walmart, and they all had nursing supplies, lotion for your growing belly, and other pregnancy related items. I donated them to someone that could use it and kept the free pacifier, diaper rash ointment, diaper, etc.
Now that we are registered we just have to decide when we feel it will be right for us to have some baby showers! We can't wait to get together with friends and family to celebrate this next stage of our lives. We will have coed baby showers without the traditional baby shower games. It will be more about hanging out and enjoying our friends and family.
Update:
Since writing this post, I learned that you can register on Amazon. How did I not know this?!? I love Amazon! You don't have to pick a due date, or provide any details about your shower. Also, there are many more items available to register for. They have a helpful adoption registry checklist, too. People can take things off of your registry when purchased even if they didn't purchase the item through Amazon which helps cut down on duplicates.
We threw a very small (my family only, which is 12 people) party once we were approved, more to celebrate the fact that we were approved than an actual shower. I made a cake and bought some flowers, and gave each person a photo of us holding a sign saying "We're paper pregnant!" as well as some info about adoption. We didn't receive any gifts other than my sister gave me a 5-year journal to record our adoption journey, but I was not expecting any. Mostly it was a little awkward as the topic of adoption was avoided even though my family approves of us adopting!
ReplyDeleteI really, REALLY want a real, traditional baby shower thrown for me while we are waiting to adopt. We've been waiting almost 1 year now and still no baby shower :'( I have made it clear to my husband what I want and have left it in his hands which is what he wants, but still nothing. I was hoping that people would want to celebrate with us as we are "expecting", and I was hoping to receive some gifts in order to be prepared if all of a sudden we get matched. I don't want a shower after we are matched because I think that would be too heartbreaking if it fell through. I don't even want a huge shower, just something that shows that I am not alone in this, you know?
AFTER we are matched, Baby arrives, and the chance of a reversal is over, THEN a BIG party!!! :D
We have registered on Babies R Us and Amazon, but I am in Canada and BRU in Canada doesn't have the adoption option! Crazy, eh?
Sorry for writing so much, lol!
I totally hear you! People just don't know how to handle a couple that's waiting to adopt. To us, it's (almost) the same as being pregnant, but to them with no big belly to constantly remind them of our impending parenthood, it doesn't seem real? Hang in there, it's gonna happen for you!
DeleteAmazon also has a universal registry! You can link to non-Amazon shops and have your list all in one place.
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