As
I have mentioned before, there are many questions you ask yourself and are
asked when you are going through infertility treatments and adoption. One of
those questions was “how open you are to open adoption?”.
This
question created more questions for us. The idea of an open adoption was scary
to us. We were worried about things like the birth mom or parents wanting the
child back, or our child liking the birth mother better, or having to travel to
meet the birth mom. Will it be harder for the baby to bond with and attach to
our family, how will it impact our ability to discipline our child? Will it
confuse our child? Will they just come visit whenever they want? Of
course we ultimately want what’s best for our child, the birth parent(s) and
us. We quickly realized just how uneducated we were on open adoption. Time for
more research!
What
is open adoption? In simple terms, it is an adoption process that involves
contact between the adoptive parents and biological parents. The fact that the
birth parent(s) will be choosing us makes it an open adoption. Every open
adoption is different and based on what the different parties involved have
agreed to. If you have seen our website, this is why we told the expectant mother
that we are open to what ever she is open to as far as future contact. No
contact will happen that we aren’t all in agreement and comfortable with. It is
a fluid relationship that changes shape as it progresses like any other
relationship. Some adoptive families talk to their birth parent(s) every day,
and the birth parent(s) visit them regularly. Some families only communicate
via email once a month or so. Every open adoption is based on what all parties
involved are comfortable with. No one is doing anything they don’t want to, and
in most situations they become like an extended family, and who doesn’t love a
big family? Not all adoptions are that open, but they can be, and all parties
seem to benefit from the relationship.
What
does the research say? The evidence clearly shows that open adoptions have
several advantages, and is better for the child. Adopted children have many
questions, and open adoption affords them the opportunity to get the answers.
Given our medical backgrounds, we like the fact that we will be able to learn
all about the child’s family medical history. Once we learned that open
adoption was better for our child, it was a no brainer!
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