Tuesday, March 1, 2016

You Can Stop Telling Us That We Will Get Pregnant Now

I don't know how many times we've heard people say that we'll get pregnant now that we've adopted. They know someone or someone they know knows someone because it "happens all the time". It doesn't happen all of the time. In fact it only happens in less than 4% of couples who have adopted.
Our 1% chance of getting pregnant, that was given to us by our first IVF doctor because he didn't want to say zero, is officially 0% It doesn't really bother me when people tell me I'll get pregnant after adoption, but it leads to an awkward reply. Like that would be great (after Tucker) to oh no, I hope not (after Miles).
So now you don't have to say it, and I don't have to come up with a witty reply. I had a hysterectomy today. My endometriosis became too much, and I was putting off the inevitable by waiting. While we are completely satisfied with our family, and don't want to lose our man-to-man defense we have now, it still makes me sad. The finality of a hysterectomy, and knowing that it really is 100% impossible to get pregnant now. I knew I would never get pregnant and now I really know I'll never be pregnant. It's hard to explain being sad over the loss of fertility when I'm so happy with our boys, but just knowing that my fertility is really, forever gone feels like dealing with trying to accept it in the first place. I know this feeling won't last forever. My surgery was for the best and comes with some advantages. Thank you all for your love and support. Please forgive any grammatical errors. I'll blame the pain meds.
Adam putting my socks on for me before surgery. He's a great nurse!


  1. Thanks for sharing. I think it is totally understandable that you would feel some grief.

  2. Well said. There are people who do understand.