Adoption is not easy

I have done several difficult things in my life and it is always the same. People tell you it is hard. So you think OK, it’s hard, but I can do hard. Then you start doing it, and you think, wow, this is hard. Then someone asks you what it’s like, so of course you tell them… It’s hard.
     Adoption is all about love. However, that love does not happen without loss on both sides. I don’t want to try to speak for an expectant mom that has or is considering placing her child for adoption, but I know it is a loss.
As a future adoptive parent in my situation it means a loss of fertility, loss of a genetic child, loss of control, and the loss of the experience of being pregnant to say the least.
     Loss of fertility is a shock to say the least. My mom is an identical twin. They have seven daughters between the two of them and I am the only one that has never been pregnant. They each have at least two so, I never thought I would struggle with infertility.
     I know that I will be able to love any child as my own, so the loss of a genetic child isn’t that difficult to me. I truly have no doubt about the love I will have for my child. It does make me sad that as a family we won’t be able to discuss whom the child got what from. It seems every time you get around a young child, every one loves to discuss who they remind them of in the family. You have your daddy’s eyes, but your mom’s smile, etc.
     Not being in control is a big one for me. Everything I have ever wanted I was able to get by working harder or trying harder. There isn’t anything I can do to make our match happen any faster. I know it will happen when it is supposed to. When we are matched I won’t be able to control what my baby is exposed to in utero, but I know the baby will be taken care of because the birth mother loves them as much as I will.
     I will never get to experience being pregnant either. I’ve always felt like I would be very sick if I ever did get pregnant, so I really wasn’t looking forward to that, but I have spent more time daydreaming about the different ways I would share the news with my husband and family than I care to admit. I will also never know what it feels like to have a baby growing inside of me.
     All that being said, I know it will be worth it when we have our child. Thank you all for your prayer and support. Please continue to pray for us, and our future birth mom(s)!

I want to teach my child to...

Another one of the many questions we have been asked during our adoption journey is “What do you want to teach your child?”.

My first thought was hmmmm, I’ve never really thought about that…. Which was my initial thought to many of the questions we were asked. What would you say? Would your pre-baby answer be different from your post-baby answer?

I think we feel like most prospective parents, and we mostly want our children to be happy and successful. What do I want to teach my child? What do I want my child to know because I am their mom? Wait… I am over thinking this as usual! What did I enjoy as a child? I know. I want to teach my child to swim, ride bikes, do cartwheels, and chase lightening bugs!

Adam thought about his answer and said he wants to teach his child to be a good Christian person that is respectful, and how to smile and get whatever they want. I thought, really? That’s what you want to say? Teach our child how to smile and get whatever they want? The more I thought about it, the more I realized how perfect that is for my husband to say. My husband is one of the nicest, most sincere people I know. He is very good at smiling and getting whatever he wants! Not just because of his adorable smile, but because of his caring heart and positive attitude.

The first book we bought for our baby and my best friend's teddy bear she painted for me in high school!

My baby blanket! It's been well loved.

My books from when I was a child!

I painted this in high school and I have been waiting to have a baby room to put it in ever since!

Adam's childhood teddybear from his great grandmother! It makes a jingling noise when you move it.